It’s Tuesday night, I’m sitting in my living room and listening to Lewis Capaldi’s songs on repeat. I was supposed to finish writing my thesis about Gen Z’s perception towards slow fashion, but instead I was chatting on the phone with one very sassy young lady (read: my little sister) and got inspired to write this post.
I can clearly remember that day in Portugal last summer, when my boss said “I think you are suffering from FOMO”. I was a bit confused… What is “FOMO”? Then I googled it and what I’ve discovered was FEAR OF MISSING OUT defined as "a pervasive apprehension that others might be having rewarding experiences from which one is absent".
And guess what?
Eureka! My boss was right. FOMO is my biggest anxiety. It always has been and always will be. I wouldn’t probably fully agree with the definition above, which describes FOMO as a constant comparison to others. For me, this anxiety is more personal. It’s a constant comparison to the person I was yesterday. It’s about me and the vision I have for myself. It’s about my individual capability of becoming a better version of myself and the progress I make in life.
I feel like during all these years, I’ve been always feeling this urge of living life to the fullest, therefore chasing something. If according to my standards and perception of “living life to the fullest”, it wasn’t happening, I would feel guilty of wasting my time (because time is the most precious tool we have, isn’t it?).
I truly believe that life is meant to be lived and enjoyed, but the truth is that “living a happy life” means something different to everyone. Personally, I like living fast, experiencing new things and being involved in multiple projects. But sometimes it makes me think that this also stops me from getting too involved and too committed. For example, I always struggle to stay fully happy in one place for too long. Maybe it’s because I haven’t found my real home yet, or maybe it’s because I feel that the world is so big and there is so many other places to discover and I don’t have time to see it all. The same happens when it comes to relationships. I’m sure we all feel this way sometimes.
The problem is that because of chasing something new all the time, we are not able to fully appreciate the present moment, because our mind is already in the future.
Therefore, I made an important decision. Instead of daydreaming and trying to imagine living my best life somewhere else, preferably in Rome or Madrid, I’m focusing on my last peaceful weeks (hopefully) in Edinburgh. I decided to enjoy more than ever my daily walks to the seaside and my own company in the flat. I also love spending all my money on the fresh flowers and candles these days.
Surprisingly, these small things really make me happy.
Goodnight,
Edy
PS This picture was taken by my lovely friend Wendy. If you ever read this post, you should know that I miss you my Ginger Spice! I will never forget that Sunday in Lisbon.